Thursday, December 27, 2012

Holiday~

School is going to reopen soon.
It's kinda sad as I enjoy my holiday even though I did nothing except getting bored at home mostly ;D
I mean mostly lar, not all the time.
I went to Sabah and it was fun.
Especially the beach, ulala, so clean. ;D
And the sea water, so clear you can even see your feet in it.
But the price is, my skin became dark after that, partly. :P
I was wearing a t-shirt with short pants that day, so there's like a boundary between the dark skin and the not-so-dark skin ;D
And Mount Kinabalu, so pretty I don't even know how to describe it.
You just have to go there by yourself and look at it :)
The place will be covered with I think fog when it's evening.
You'll feel very comfortable there.
A must-go place :D
Oh yeah, the picture up there is taken there :)
And there was one day I went Midvalley with my mom.
Bought two shoes in one day :P
Actually after I bought the first shoe only I found the shoe I wanted to buy it somewhere else last time, but they didn't have my size.
 I'm starting to become a shopaholic weih.
Have to control myself ald. ;D
Except those days, mostly I'm doing nothing at home.
It just feels great to be lazy xD
LOL I sounds like my life is so meaningless weih.
Okayy, I kinda like school but I hate keep being reminded about SPM and thinking that you're having your final year in secondary school.
That's why I dislike growing up.
But well, think of the bright side.
I am going to learn how to drive soon,
and I won't have to beg on somebody to fetch me to somewhere.
Not bad. :D
Okayy, I should face 2013 happily,
after surviving from the so called "end of the world" in 2012. ;D

Tuesday, November 20, 2012


最近,时常做噩梦。
以前就时常做梦到不要起来。
现在,常被噩梦吓醒。
晚上也很难睡着。
这就是失眠吧。
情愿不要做梦好了。
好梦,噩梦, 都很烦。
但是, 可能没有做梦时会更惨。
矛盾。
算了, 大概是最近头脑太空闲了。
每天胡思乱想。
还是去读多点书,用一下脑好了。
:D

Btw, glad that he' over me.
Erm.. not really happy, but just hope he could live better without me :)
That's how he is now.
希望永远是好朋友。
祝你幸福 :)

变脸.



我最近好像跟很多人都很像。O_O
camp 有人问我是不是典凝的姐妹。
去朋友家, 他家人问我和妍怡是不是双胞胎。
还有很多次都被误认为是别人。
难道我会变脸?xD

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

After exam.

Exam Over ;D
HEHE. There's still 4 papers to go but I'm not sure whether I'll be taking.
But, overall it's quite good lar.
Except the first week, not so good.
Can see that in my last post i guess ;D
I was not in a good condition that time.
Sick at the very first day of exam until I almost wanna give up on the paper.
Some more it's the Chinese paper which I kinda like it.
It's weird to say I like exam ;D
I mean some subject only. For sure not Sejarah. LOL
Hmm, but I guess, GUESS, the result will be okay lar.
Hope so.
It feels good to have a rest after such a torture for 1 month anyway.
You can sleep and eat and do anything without worrying what you haven't finish study.
Most importantly, wasting time without feeling guilty.
BEST FEELING EVER.
After this, gonna enjoy my camp.
Even though most probably couldn't retake my papers.
I have sacrifice those papers, so I HAVE to enjoy the camp.
It has to be worth it.
 Holiday on the way btw. Great day. :D

Friday, October 12, 2012

This is exam.

Disappointed.

Well, I am trying to be optimistic but ,
no matter how hard I try,
I am just still not good enough I guess.

It's just the first two subjects but I am already this dissapointed.
Every time I am well-prepared, there will always be something which ruined it.
 

Friday, September 7, 2012

...

Hmm... Now,
it's not I don't wanna talk to you.
I didn't get a chance to.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

我不值得。

不要把我这么,我不值得你这样做.我没有你想象的那么好,也没有那么善良。
我所做的一切,连我自己都不知道我到底是不是我心里真正想做的。 
我开始不确定自己的感觉,自己的想法。
突然觉得自己不像真正的自己, 觉得自己很假, 甚至觉得自己好像骗了别人那么久。 
想要变回我所谓真正的自己,也试过很多次想要跟你说。 
但是,我开不了口。
所以在这里说比较好吧。
我还是比较适合过我自己一个人的生活吧,也可能是我习惯了一个人。
我不知道我到底是怎么了,竟然做了那么多我不可能会做的事, 变得不像我。
但是我知道我不可以再继续这样下去了。
我不可以再继续过着这种不像我的生活,不可以再让别人认为那个就是我。
我不是会相信童话故事里完美结局的人, 所以我不会再做我所谓“不像我做的事”了。
所以,不要再对我那么好了。 我会内疚的。 
你要怎么样怪我都可以,但是不要因为我而让你难过, 
因为我...真的不值得你这样。 

Friday, August 17, 2012

Holiday.

Argh. Sick at the very first day of holiday.
Caught fever yesterday and still coughing now.
Other people were sicked during the exam and I am sick now.
Always wanna spoilt my holiday -,-
It's okay. Not gonna let it ruin my holiday which i have waited for so long.

Gonna be isolated from school and spend the whole holiday with my family.
So. Maybe I won't be onlining for a long time.
And don't worry if you can't find me, I will be "dissappearing".
Maybe you can't find me even through phone, i meant my mom's lar.
Cause she may won't be with me the whole holiday.
Gonna go to Johor this holiday and to Penang the next weekend after the holiday.
That's it. Gonna have a rest now. Still coughing D:

Monday, August 13, 2012

Meaningful.

 Saw this somewhere and i think it's kinda meaningful.

So True.

I really thought of this many times weih. I mean going back to childhood again, when we used to wish that we're already adults and can decide on our own, when things are not so complicated, when we don't really remember things. Heard of someone said this before:"Children have short term memory lost, they forget things easily. Maybe that's a gift for them" But we can't go back anymore. If I would go back, I would choose to do the same things all over again, maybe? But there's some of it I would change my decision. Well, those things that I've regret for doing.But:
"Everyone want's happiness. Nobody want's pain, but u can't have a rainbow without a little rain.."
So, we can't be happy without something sad and we've did and regret for that.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Fail to emo.

Well, I always failed to be emo. When I have a feeling "I don't wanna talk to anyone today, I just wanna stay quietly today. I got no mood." ,I always fail to do so. Because when my friends talk to me, I'll start talking alot again. ;D Is it a good thing or bad thing? But when I was talking to then and laughing, I felt like it's very very fake weih. It seems like I look happy and having fun talking to friends and laughing like crazy, but I felt sad inside. And when there's noone there, I'll be emo-ing again. Maybe I'm too good in pretending :p I got acting skills? ;D LOL, I think I just don't want other people especially my friends to be sad because of me. I think it's unfair to them. I just want them to be happy always (: Being emo is a very bad way to cure your sadness, you are just gonna bring sadness to everyone by doing so. If you can just pretending and be optimistic, but don't keep everything in yourself lar, you can say it out, you'll realize everything is alright after some times. Time can cure almost everything, I said almost. ;D Not everything is as serious as you think. If you got problem, just tell your friends or family and smile as if it's nothing really serious, and continue to be the normal you ;D It works on me (:  Lol, this is like a counselling session weih. ;D

Trying hard to change.

I am sorry if I've hurt you. I never meant to do so. I really don't know it will hurt you. I should have to ask more until you tell me what happen, but I didn't. I have to admit that I was kinda sad when you told my friend instead of me, but I know you just wanna tell me through her and I am the one who didn't care about you. And that line.. I don't think you just suddenly think of it and said it out, i really think you meant it. Maybe my friend was right. i'm pretending that I don't care about you because I don't want you to know that. And about the incident, I can't tell whose fault is it because I never witness anything.  I just don't want you to be involved in this kind of things because you could be hurt.

To everyone, please do tell me when I did something bad to you or anyone else. I don't like guessing whether it's my fault or know it through other people. I am not blaming you btw, but I just wanna let you know, tell me  if i've did anythg bad kay? I really don't know about it if you don't tell. I know maybe I can't accept it at the moment you tell me but I'll try to and change it. (:

Memories.

It has been a long time since last post  ;D
Oh  yeah, forgot to say. I went to the lianhuanhui (:
And It's fun , kinda crazy that night ;D Glad that our performance is considered as successful ;D
And the other performances are awesome weih. :D
There was a prank session and I took the balloon and i kena prank. I was the only one among the form 4s weih.   When i heard about the prank, i was stunted weih. And when i was doing, they are screaming  so excitedly -,- Btw, sorry for involving you :p
Well, after the lianhuanhui, when i was waiting for my bro to fetch me, I took alot of picture and here they are (:













Btw, that was the best weekend i've ever had.
Because of the lianhuanhui and my dad came back. :D
Thanks for giving me such a good memories (: <3

Thursday, July 12, 2012

:)

Well.. My dad ended up didn't come back last week.
Maybe I shouldn't put too much hope i guess.
有希望就有失望.
That's what I always tell myself.
Hmm.. I dunno why but I felt kinda tired recently, especially this week.
Maybe there's a lot of activities and i was kinda exhausted.
but it doesn't seems like just tired, it's like i got no mood to do everything.
Not looking forward to school, or even the annual dinner this weekend..
What happened to me? D:
Btw, about the annual dinner, I haven't prepare anything yet weih.
Actually I planned to wear a dress but I just found out it doesn't fit me well,
so I have to change it.
Cham jor lor..
Gonna settle it by tomorrow, really gonna.
Hope I'll be in the mood that day :)
And my voice will be okay by that day.
I don't wanna miss the fun :D
Cheer up lar,  haiyo ;D
Promise I'll be okay ;)

*p/s: Just wanna say sorry to those who care about me. I don't meant to be like this, so sorry if I kinda influence you. :) But thankyou for trying to cheer me up, I know de :)

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

(:

My dad just talked to me through the phone.
After two months i guess, finally I heard his voice.
And he said he's coming back this weekend.
Yay! ;DD
I didn't know what to say to him when he was at the phone,
and I kinda regret after that :x
But it's okay, I just wanna hear his voice.
My mind was empty at that time,
but after a few minutes the call finished,
I felt like crying suddenly.
Felt like telling him I miss him,
but I don't wanna make him worry.
I'll just talk to him through phone tomorrow (: 

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Kem and Trip! :)

Went to a camp and a trip after the exam.
To have fun and forget about the exam ;D
It was fun but tiring, but still i never regret of going. :D
So here's some photos during the trip :)
 Like this picture ;D <3
 我们一起看的第一个日出:)
 <3
 Jump shot!
 Love the sky :D
 At ICT. :)
 Blue blue sea.

The only sad thing is my dad went to johor when i was in the camp :(
So I didn't get to say goodbye,
and I didn't dare to call him because I was scared that I will cry in front of some many ppl there :S
Till now, I haven't been talking to him, even through phone..
The night before I went to the trip, I dreamt  of him coming home..
But I was kinda dissapointed when I woke up.. I hope it wasn't a dream.
And I was thinking of him everyday..
And that day, I found this picture in the camera,

He put this in the book shelf before he went to work a few months ago,
And it did successfully made me smile, as usual :) so I took this picture.
*p/s: That's my bro in the picture btw :)
My mom says we're going to Johor next weekend, so yay !
Will get to see him soon :)

After my dad went to Johor, I felt like I've lost someone to 依靠 suddenly,
Maybe this is the reason why I've change recently,
but you and my friends is still here for me.
谢谢你们, 让我依靠 :) <3
HEHE. ;)
 

真心

付出真心, 或许会受到伤害,但也可能会找到真心;
封闭自己的心, 虽然能保护自己, 但也注定孤寂一生。<3 
 

._.

只有两个字,我却怎么也做不到。
觉得自己好残忍。 ._.
:)

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

School day~

Day 2 after school reopen. Got most of the exam papers.
The papers i got on first day are hmmm... really not good. :P
But today, the papers are okay lar. Better than what I expected :)
Can't expect much what, since this is the first REAL exam we got.
Overall A- to A+, only Addmath I got B+, ruined my straight A -,-
Getting this is already considered difficult for me, so next time gonna work harder.
Schooling again is no fun btw. Maybe because of results lar, but we were like very sien this few days.LOL
But okay lar, had a lot of fun in school also. HEHE :DD

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Sometimes, It's great to know that you're important to people that you cared about. LOL sounds perasan.
Just wanna thankyou to those i meant :D
Hmm.. I just finished my piano exam. I think probably i can pass? MAYBE only ;D
Now only my real holiday actually started , and it only lasts for a few days. -,-
so i am in Penang now. Cause my brother wanna settle something about his studies.
Kinda boring , nothing to do. But maybe i really need some rest, so it's a good thing for me.
School's reopening soon, so gotta face my resutls soon.
But good news is, I am going to camp, away from the school and the stress :DD
But the bad news is, most probably my dad will be going to Johor when i am at the camp :(
But it's okay lar, one day I'll have to leave him also. When i have to go out to study. It's just i need some time to get used to it i guess :)

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

;)

Hmm.. My dad resigned ald. And he's going to Johor maybe in 2 months. Sad :(
He asked me whether I wanna move to there but that means I have to start all over again.
But if I don't, I can only meet him like once for a month.
But then I think I should stay here until SPM, so I stayed.
I'm gonna miss him so much that time.
As my dad never leave me for that long.
And my mom will often go there,
so maybe I'll always stay at home myself next year.
If my brother went to uni.
Hehe, so that's one of the reason why I am so emo that time.
I was struggling to make my decision.
Anyway, Daddy, I love you. <3 C:

Friday, May 11, 2012

Dreams and reality.

Crying is the best way to express your feeling..
Though I hate to say so, but it's the truth.
Feeling the stress now.
There's too much things happening now.
And I dunno why, I just can't say it out.
So , I kept everything and now, I can't stand it anymore.
So I "burst", I cried.
Felt better after that, but the better feeling doesn't last long.
So, I'm just trying to make myself feel better by writing it out.
So, don't bother me.
That's it. Useless.
I wonder why I can't just be happy like the others.
I'm wasting my life by being unhappy,
but I just can't.
I tried my best and I failed.
Argghh..
Sometimes, I mean always,
When I wake up every morning,
awake from my dream,
I got a feeling "Owhh, why am I back to here again.."
Sad case. I prefer dreams than real life now.
Maybe dreams which are too sweet is not good for me.
But still I wanna have it,
so I would be happy for a few hours everyday.
At least in my dreams.
Okay, that's it. A long emo post.
Have to go on and live in my reality now.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Exam exam exam.

Hmm.. Last Saturday before the three-weeks exam.
And i'm still blogging x)
And I jsut knew the date of my piano exam.
It's at 10 a.m. on 7th of June.
Well, this can be considered as good news and bad news.
Bad news is it's just one week after my school exam, and i'm so scare that I can't prepare.
and good news is, I can go to the all those camps and lawatan after the exam :DD
Alright, I'm gonna start studying and practicing now.
This is going to be a torturing month D:
But I really really have to try hard to get the best result result :O
So pray hard for me :D

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

:\

I can't get him out of my mind already.
Gotta study but i can't concentrate @.@
I can't let this influences me. ._.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

:)

Hmm.. Recently, there was  a "emo season" weih. Suddenly many people were or are emo and I really dunno why. I tried hard not to being influenced but it was really difficult :x Really hope that i was that kind of person who is optimistic, but I'm not. So, I felt kinda failed in everything i did. I can't do better than the other in anything. :( I pretend to be just happy but actually i cared about all this thing. But now, i think it's kinda suffering if I keep making myself emo also, so i don't care lah. LOL what am I writing about. ;D

After this it'll be the mid-year exam. I'm gonna study from now on so I probably not gonna be blogging or onlining this much. PROBABLY :P If anyone saw me onlining, please remind me to study. I scare that i can't control myself and keep onlining. xD

After the exam, I'll be going to camps. But I'm not sure yet, cause my dad haven't agree yet :( He said I never take care of myself during the camp :o Haiz... I really tried mahh. Maybe i just can't take care of myself lor.. Hope he'll let me go lor.

That's it lar, I'll blog after the exam :)

Friday, March 30, 2012

Tiring weeks.

Finally it's weekend :D
Had been very busy for the whole week.
Too much homework and koko somemore.
I can't stand all these lar. >.<
I slept for like the whole day ytd and I was still not feeling well,
and almost caught a fever.
But now, I'm okay ald, after sleeping for a long  time xD
Next week i am going to be even busier than this week worh.
Staying back in schl for Monday and Tuesday, and then going back to Penang on Wednesday.
And i have a camp on Friday. Hope i won't collapse weih :O

This few days, it was like having a war at home.
Everytime they were at home, they argue.
I'm bored of this -.- So everytime they argue, i walked away.
Maybe that's why i was kinda emo recently gua :)
But after 1 week, I don't care anymore and started to ignore them when they're argueing :DD

LOL, When I'm really emo, he didn't know.
But when i was not emo anymore, he kept asking ;D
Btw, thanks for caring :)

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Dreams dreams dreams.

Last 2 hours of holiday.
Damn fast :S
Hmm.. gotta take all the exam papers tomorrow.
I'm so dying. Pray for me ;D
Hopefully it won't be that bad *finger crossed* ._.
Sometimes, i wonder what if it's really the end of the year in 2012,
what have we done is just study and exam D:
Maybe we should stop care too much about results then :DD
What a good reason, LOL.

Recently, i had alot of dreams. But i can't remember most of it. Thanks to my poor memory ;D
But there's one i remember very very clearly, it's a very very scary nightmare.
I never thought i would had that kind of dream.
What happened in that dream is impossible in the real life.
But that's the only dream i was so scared and keep looking for you.
But you wasn't there, noone was there.
Very scary. OMG, i gotta forget about that dream, if not, it's gonna be haunting me.
:O

Going to slp now, gotta wake up early tmrw.
Hope i'll have a sweet dream tonight :)

Saturday, March 17, 2012

:|

I tried not to like anyone, not to care about anyone,
because the more I like someone, the more pain I'll get,
But when you appear in my life, I failed . :|